The true meaning of “trying”

May 2, 2016

Before I go into detail about the gender reveal and the day JJ and I found out about the amazing news, I wanted to discuss our journey before pregnancy.

I think it should be your top priority to be on the same page as your partner, and make the decision together for when you want to start trying for a baby. Although accidents happen every day, it was our job to prevent them from happening until we felt ready. No offense to the people who have had children before they desired, as children are a blessing, but I was the type of person who wanted my ducks in a row before children. Nine out of ten times I got the comments, “you’ll never feel ready.” I somewhat agree with that. Of course no one can prepare you for the life change that is about to happen, but to us, feeling stable and financially capable of adding another person to our lives was crucial.

Originally, JJ and I thought we would start trying for a baby a year after we were married. Five years later, we finally have a baby on the way! It’s funny how much your plans change when life gets in the way. Since then we moved to Arizona, purchased our first home, made some adjustments and large purchases to our home, and experienced the most amazing European vacation of our lives last September. Every year since our wedding, I would check in with JJ to see where he was at regarding children. Fortunately for us, we were always on the same page of not yet feeling “ready.” We really wanted to fully enjoy the years of it being just us before children. Enjoyment is an understatement. The end of 2015, we went to Europe and planned it as our “last hurrah” before baby.


A month before leaving for Europe, my doctor suggested to get off the pill. Ideally we envisioned going on vacation and miraculously making a baby in Paris. A girl can dream, am I right?  A few other people suggested getting off the pill earlier than a month, but I chickened out and feared getting pregnant too soon and not being able to fully enjoy the vacation we so diligently planned (alcohol wise). At this point, I’d been on the pill for 14 years, which was far too long in my mind, and felt relieved to be off of it. Emotionally and physically, I felt normal the first two months. Until I did not. Breakouts (I’m so lucky) and frequent heavy mood swings were two main symptoms that I felt coming off of the pill. I would cry randomly all the time, feel depressed, but not have any reason behind my emotions. My periods stayed pretty regular, if not earlier and earlier every month, but the cramping was HELL. I could barely move the first two days. I thought about going back on the pill just to relieve myself from feeling this way. Babies are overrated, right? Kidding. I got through it.

Many people would ask, “So, are you trying?” Trying is a very specific term when it comes to getting pregnant. I never really knew what it fully meant before, as I thought there wasn’t much to it other than just having sex. Right? Wrong. I started to track my periods and found out which days I would ovulate, giving me a potential window of hope for the best time to have sex. We were casual about it for a couple months until I started using the app GLOW (not sponsored) which not only tracks your periods and days of ovulation, but your body temperature and gasp CM! (Gentlemen, cover your ears). CM also known as cervical mucus, is the stuff you typically find in your underwear during different times of the month. No, this doesn’t mean blood. Call me uneducated, but I had zero knowledge about cervical fluid or the fact that is corresponded with your ovulation peak. Did you know that there are different types of CM? In fact, there are four. Mind blown. I’ll let you turn to google for these, but when your CM is clear and stretchy (you may have to physically check) then you are at your highest peak of ovulation. Although this may be TMI, these are the facts and every woman should learn about it. If you don’t want to physically check your CM, you can take ovulation tests throughout your ovulation window to see which day you are at your highest peak. In January 2016, I turned to my first round of ovulation tests to try a new method of “trying.” Since we were casual for a while, I figured we might as well stop messing around and figure out the best days.The first time we used ovulation tests, this girl gets pregnant. Although no shock to us at all, you still get those moments of surprise when your pregnancy test reads PREGNANT. Although not everyone is that lucky to get pregnant within 6 months of getting off the pill and one month of ovulation tests, there are so many ways to test ovulation and your body does a lot of that itself. Am I the only one who just learned about this stuff?

If you missed my post about my first trimester, and how JJ and I found out about the big news… head over to last weeks blog post called I’M PREGNANT.

Be Kind,