The Mom I Want To Be

August 24, 2016

Everyone has a premature assumption of the kind of parent they want to be.  Whether you’ve already decided that she’s not allowed to date until she’s 18 or how much TV may be permitted, I’ve been told that all and more will probably change once you’re actually faced with being a parent (or the moment you look up at those sad eyes staring back at you). Regardless of how you end up parenting, having a planned idea is just in my nature.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately and its a heavy topic. The act of raising a child.. or children. You get ideas from the people you’re surrounded by, imitate how you yourself were raised, or just plan on winging this whole thing called parenthood. Regardless, the majority of us want what the rest of the world wants, and that’s to raise good people.  Although if everyone has such good intensions to raise good people, then why are there so many criminals in the world? So much hatred? What did those parents do differently or not enough of? How do we end bullying in our schools? There is so much that goes into it and someone a lot smaller and more fragile is watching and mimicking your every move. So its not just about wanting to raise them to be good people, but being a good person yourself for them to look up to.

It’s a lot to think about that could make any soon to be or new parent anxious or overwhelmed. The advise I get is what you’d expect… just roll with it and do the best you can. Yeah, yeah.. I hear you.  I am completely fine with the fact that things will change once she is here… in fact, I am feeling more and more ready for it. But I also believe you can make a conscious effort to continue to live your lives and still enjoy yourself and each other. I know this is coming from a person who is not yet a mother, so please… revert the eye rolls. I am trying to be an optimist these days. Don’t get me wrong.. we definitely haven’t figured everything out, in fact, we just had the “what we are going to do after the baby is born” talk only a couple of weeks ago. Working part-time vs. staying at home. That was a daunting discussion but we got through it and determined our next appropriate steps. Much like parenting, huh? 😉

So, what’s this post about? The premature assumption of the kind of parent I want to be. Whether that’s me personally or what I’d like to teach. Don’t worry, I kept the list kind of basic so I don’t go overboard.

Teach her that giving is just as much fun, if not more fun than receiving
Make time for myself, give JJ time, and take time together
Go on adventures
Teach her to always include others around her
Dinner time is family time
There never is a need for secrets from us, or judgment
Travel often and together
Sleep in your own bed
Try everything once, if you don’t like it.. don’t do it
Playing outside is mandatory
Bribing is non-existent
Don’t stress about breastfeeding
Be on the same page as JJ
Listen to her always
Always make time for family
Learning is a privilege, take advantage of opportunities to learn
Everyone in this world is the same, just raised differently
Have a night time routine which includes reading and always saying I love you
Dad is our favorite person
Be patient
Be independent but never feel afraid to ask for help

… was I beginning to go overboard? I’ll end it there as I am sure you are aware that the list could go on and on.

Thoughts? Comments? Feedback?